Jokes

Colin Meets a Girl


Colin meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks."

She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll let you LOOK at it."

They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he gets out his lighter. He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair... it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."

She says, "Thank you."

He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"

She says, "Go ahead."

He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?"

She says, "Of course."

He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire."

Renault and ford are working on a new small car for women. they are mixing the Clio and Taurus,and calling it the " CLITAURUS", it comes in pink, with or without fur on the dash. And the average male thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is !

my wife has not been happy since the introduction of the new dangerous dogs act.

now she has to wear a muzzle and be on a leash at all times when we go out.

Wayne Bridge sent his wife a replica of his cock made from Cadbury's chocolate. However, she has said she prefers Terry's.

John Terry has done nothing wrong. All coaching manuals state; if the full back leaves a hole it's the centre backs job to fill it

A blonde takes her broken down car to a garage.
The mechanic having looked at it says" Nothing serious love, just shit in the air filter,"
She replies,"Brilliant, how often do I have to do that?"

As the advert says, "The car in front is a Toyota".....well it would be 'cos it can't fuckin' stop!

I pulled a gorgeous brunette yesterday. I got her home, and pulled off her panties, only to discover she had ginger pubes!

She could see I was shocked and said, "Oh, I dye my hair. It's not a problem is it?"

"Not at all," I replied, "although why you'd want to dye your pubes ginger is beyond me; everyone fucking hates gingers!"

Had a wank in the end.

I bought the wife some crotchless knickers but the silly bitch put them on back to front. I was over the moon.

Saw a picture of Wayne Rooney's kid in The Sun today. Anyone else think he looked a bit like John Terry?

I left 2 Portsmouth tickets on my seat while I went into Tescos. I was so fucking angry when I came back to find someone had broken into my car and left 2 more.

What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under the water?

A blonde trying to put it out.

elton johns a fantastic songwriter and he,s brilliant on the piano,but ive heard he sucks on the organ.