Jokes

How do you kill an entire circus at once?
Go for the juggler.

A young Swedish woman, old Dutch woman, an Englishman, and an Irishman are riding a train...

The train goes through a tunnel and it becomes pitch black in the car, a loud SMACK is heard... the train emerges from the tunnel and the Englishman is rubbing his cheek.

The Swedish girl thinks "I bet he tried to grope me and accidentally got the old woman and she slapped him..."

The Dutch woman thinks "He must have groped the Swedish girl and she slapped him..."

The Englishman thinks "The Irishman must have groped the Swedish girl and she accidentally slapped me..."

And the Irishman thinks "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can smack that English guy again."

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."

Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"

George Michael entered a public toilet, hoping to spend a penny.

He then came out with two coppers.

What do George Michael and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both have brown dicks...

What does George Michael have in common with a rubber boot?

Both get sucked off in bogs

Why was George Michael's car insurance canceled?

He was rear-ended too many times.

I was driving down the moterway with my blonde girlfriend the other day and she piped up"I think those people in the car next to us are from another country" I asked"why is that?"she continued"well,the kids are writing on the window & it says stit ruoy su wohs"

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? He bought a warehouse.

Whats the punishment for bigamy?
Two mother-in-laws.