Jokes

what do you call 2000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

a good start.

A door to door salesman rings the bell at a large house.
The door is opened by a 13 year old boy, dressed in a velvet smoking jacket. Cuddling up on his left arm is a blonde glamour babe and on his right is a brunette glamour babe.
In his left hand is a fine cuban cigar and in his right a glass of 25 year old single malt.
The salesman says, "Good morning. Are your parents in young man?"
The boy looks at him and blowing out a cloud of cigar smoke says,
"What the fuck do you think?"

This world cup is working out like WW2 - France have left surrendered, the USA turned up late, and England are left to fight the Germans!

A girl at work has just come back from Blackpool.
She said that she had been on the 'Big One'
I said, " You mean the ride on the Pleasure Beach"?
She said, "No, the well endowed donkey on the beach"

Weak? Limp? Lifeless?

Who'd of thunk it? turns out Cheryl's Cole's slept with the entire England squad

NEWS FLASH;
Its just been announced England are to fly into Glasgow airport,
SO THEY CAN GET A HEROS WELCOME,
pmsl.....

Weather Forecast:
The north of England will experience severe flooding,
This is due to the whole of Scotland pissing themselves laughing...

England have a new coach,

It'll be picking them up from Heathrow airport 2more morning.

A New Helpline Has Now Been Setup For Depressed England Fans After Yesterday's Match Against Germany...
They Can Now Call 0800 4-1-4-1-4-1 For Assitance


Or Visit The Website at http://www.EnglandGotHumped.co.uk

Oxo have just introduced a new brand of gravy cube. It is white with a red cross design on it - they've called it the Laughing Stock.

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The weather report for today is sunny with warm temperatures and blue skies. All except for a little corner of Heathrow airport which is expected to bring grey skies and heavy showers - the England team have returned.