Jokes

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other with how tough they are.

One mouse orders a large scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders up two tumblers of Jim Beam, slurps them down in quick succession, slamming each glass into the bar, turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The macho mice then turn to the third mouse, Butch, to see what he has to say about it. Butch lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this crap. I've gotta go home and screw the cat."

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

i'm CAPITALISING on the alphabet!

this thread's buzzin 2 nite

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z

sorry, i went for a "P" halfway through!

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swalow. Q: What do you get if you cross a Hell's Angel with a Jehovah's Witness?
A: Some one who knocks on your door on a Sunday morning and tells
YOU to fuck off!

Q: What did One gay sperm say to another?
A: How do we find an egg in all of this shit? Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand... Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?

what do you call a one legged waiter?
well... you read his name tag, obviously. calling him anything other than his name is just... well, rude!

hi-fi
i just stereo-typed! lol

old chinese proverb says "ching chow chong"
which roughly translates as "i can't read or speak chinese so get someone else to read it!"