Jokes

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

A bomb has gone off in Nigeria. I hope that prince who e-mailed me hasn't been hurt, his family has been through enough already....

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies

"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

There's a rumour going around that Col Gaddafi has slipped into Jordan.....is there nothing she'll stop at to get into the newspapers??

BBC News: Irene Takes Aim At US East Coast.

Looks like that Norwegian bloke had an accomplice after all.

knock knock

who's there?

to

to who?

surely you mean, "to whom"

hedges, they're a-maze-ing, ain't they?

bins, they're rubbish, ain't they?

i started doing martial arts after a game of football, i thought it was ninja-ry time

I was out drinking the other night & got totally pissed.I walked up to this gorgeous blonde & said "duck my sick" She said "don't you mean suck my dick" I puked on her & said "No"

(27-08-2011 20:11 )whoopah Wrote:  knock knock

who's there?

to

to who?

surely you mean, "to whom"

just making sure it got posted