Jokes

(05-09-2011 21:41 )Boomerangutangangbang Wrote:  Science shows that owls have the sharpest hearing on the planet.They clearly have never tested a man watching porn whilst his wife is asleep.

That really tickled me

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

(05-09-2011 21:45 )Money_Shot Wrote:  :
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

Yes, and Sir Lancelot had five hundred pairs of glasses.......because the knight has a thousand eyes!!

The wife is going to a fancy dress party tonight, dressed as a Rastafarian. She wants me to do her hair - I'm dreading it!

why is it called a funfair? the games are clearly fixed so i don't win anything and that makes me hate it, i'd much rather go to a hatecheat, at least it'll be honest... about it's dishonesty

i thought i'd try some observatonal comedy, it seems simple enough, you just say what you notice...

a cat.... the tv.... a fiver... my feet... a tree, a tree... a tree... grass... a dvd... a tenner... another dvd... another dvd.... my reflection in the mirror... i don't think i'm doing it right... i'll try again... ooh, look at that! oh, if only you could see what i'm seeing... or observing, you'd laugh

9/11 reminds me of the time that american building gave birth to those twins

Do forgive the nature of this joke; For the opinions expressed are not my own; but simply a means to make light of a sinister act.

'What is the really bad thing about paedophilia ? No tit wanks.'

Please don't chase me down with pitch forks. It is in no way an endorsement of child molestation in any way.

how long is it gonna be until york in america isn't 'new' anymore?

what kind of saying is "plane sailing"? correct me if i'm wrong, that's a plane crash over the sea

i used to get told off for playing with a dolly... i bloody cloned the bloody sheep, i'll do what i want with it!