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Jokes

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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Post: #3711
RE: Jokes
my girlfriend says she's got a weight problem.... i call it gravity

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
01-10-2011 17:26
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
*****

Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #3712
RE: Jokes
i had a joke about amnesia, but, erm... i seem to... er...

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
01-10-2011 17:29
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
*****

Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #3713
RE: Jokes
did you hear about the stupid woodworm? he was found in a brick

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
01-10-2011 17:32
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,986
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #3714
RE: Jokes
To get into heaven you had to walk up 100 stairs but on each stair god asks you a joke if you laugh you go to HELL. So the brunette gets to the 56th stair and bursts out laughing and gets sent to hell. Then red-head gets to the 97th stair and bursts out laughing and gets sent to hell. Then the blonde gets into heaven and bursts out laughing then god asked her "why are you laughing?" the blonde replied "I just got the first one!"

The last days are here...
01-10-2011 17:51
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,986
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #3715
RE: Jokes
(01-10-2011 17:29 )whoopah Wrote:  i had a joke about amnesia, but, erm... i seem to... er...




The last days are here...
01-10-2011 17:54
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Chimpy Offline
Damn Dirty Ape!
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Posts: 1,546
Joined: Oct 2008
Reputation: 74
Post: #3716
RE: Jokes
Whoopah, just look into the light and that awful joke book you memorized will be gone forever...hallelujah! praise be to jeebus Wink

[Image: mib-memory-eraser.jpg]

And now he's home... and we're laughing...like we always did...
01-10-2011 18:25
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
*****

Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #3717
RE: Jokes
i forgot about a joke about... erm...

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
01-10-2011 18:45
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
*****

Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #3718
RE: Jokes
A blond woman buys a bath, the next day she returns to the shop claiming it's broken and leaking water, she says every time i fill it up it just empties. The shop keeper replies have you put the plug in it, she replies "I never knew it was electrical"

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
01-10-2011 19:01
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
*****

Posts: 5,986
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #3719
RE: Jokes
You guys crack me up.

The last days are here...
01-10-2011 19:02
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
*****

Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #3720
RE: Jokes
A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker, "Do these chickens get any bigger?" He replied, "No, they're dead."

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
01-10-2011 19:09
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