Jokes

What do we want ? A cure for obesity ! When do we want it ? After dinner !

A couple of my elder daughter's friends have come round for a sleepover tonight.

Well, mrs w and her are away and I was at a loose end.........

It's sad that Wile E Coyote is remembered for his violence & not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.

What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes!!

In the news: "Kids as young as 10 drinking the equivalent of 19 glasses of wine"

Disgusting!!! When I was that age all I could afford was "White Lightning"

Phychology...even the spelling fucks with your head.

I love Hallowe'en. This year I might finally use up my supply of laxative chocolates I got from the doctor.

My mate told me that he's been shagging these twins who both like it up the arse.

"How do you tell the difference?" I asked.

"Easy." he said, "Sally's got big tits and Derek's got a moustache."

One of my colleagues caught me crying at work.

"What's wrong mate?" he said

"There was a fire at my wife's workplace" I wept, "And everyone in the building died."

He said, "Isn't your wife away on a business trip?"

"Exactly."

Beware of Alphabet Grenades. if you throw them, it could spell disaster