A Small Complaint (aka the A to Z of Captain Vimes' follies)

(11-06-2011 18:13 )Captain Vimes Wrote:  Hey, hey one of my favourite posters to reply to for my 1000th comment. I hate myself. for the 1000th comment not you Forum.

Congrats on passing the 1,000 posts, you'll have to put that on your CV ... CV.

(11-06-2011 22:30 )mr williams Wrote:  mrs w is asking why there is paint on her bra and panties - what do I tell her???

That you lent her underwear to some famous painters like Georges Bra-que? Knix-olas Poussin? Jean-Michel Basque-iat? (Note to self ... art jokes still not funny!!)

(11-06-2011 18:01 )Forum Sty_e Wrote:  Slightly scared that it made perfect sense to me.

I would not be scared Forum.

There is only you and me that are real, the rest of them are illusory biscuits.

Ahem, art jokes are funny. It's just the ear of the listeners are sometimes not tuned.

God, I'm profound.

Listen, I once got the sack for making surreal and existentialist jokes in work...

...but I had the last laugh........

....I took them to an Industrial Water Buffalo!!!

(11-06-2011 23:39 )Forum Sty_e Wrote:  

(11-06-2011 22:30 )mr williams Wrote:  mrs w is asking why there is paint on her bra and panties - what do I tell her???

That you lent her underwear to some famous painters like Georges Bra-que? Knix-olas Poussin? Jean-Michel Basque-iat? (Note to self ... art jokes still not funny!!)

Oh, I don't know - painting jokes can be funny.....when we're having sex mrs w lies to roll off the bed onto the carpet....she prefers a matt finish!!!!

(12-06-2011 00:56 )mr williams Wrote:  Oh, I don't know - painting jokes can be funny.....when we're having sex mrs w lies to roll off the bed onto the carpet....she prefers a matt finish!!!!

This Matt guy. I'm presuming you are Matt Mr Williams.

Let's bloody well hope so.

Cézanne?

Says you.

See funny art joke. Hmm.

That was rather weak I think I've Turnered the corner here. There is nothing to be Gainsbouroughed by going on. Stubbs it out now.

any more of that and I'll send a Constable to arrest you!!

(12-06-2011 01:50 )mr williams Wrote:  any more of that and I'll send a Constable to arrest you!!

Hey, don't say something you'll later Magritte. You'd be no better than a Seurat, only fit to start at the Botticelli and Cassatt. I don't Frink so! I'd like to Escher in a new spirit of untity. In fact, I'd be Hopper mad if you don't! So please don't get on Matisse or you can get in your Van & Gogh. This may sound a bit Grosz but Hals well that ends well. After all, it's Mucha do about nothing.

Why don't we talk about something on which we can all a-Gris? Like babes? Given a choice between boobs or bums, I'd Picasso. Though I also like to Munch on a nice Klimt (though I draw the line at Dix) Truth be told, I'd Chagall of them!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to use the Johns (hope I don't Pissaro the place!)

2 years writing art reviews for a newspaper and I end up making "painter" jokes on a f*cking Babe forum! Kill me now!!!

Fooking relegated to the backwaters and yet here we are with such paintings as this :-



I mean the fucking fun thread the shame, the shame.

Some of us are cultured dontcha know?

Effing philistines. I might just post a series of great paintings here, in the Fun Zone, to annoy everyone.



I'd like to be on the back of a Haywain during a warm summer night. Life was so much better in the old days.*

* Note to self, no it wasn't, it was crap.